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(D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2025 6:42 pm
by Soshi Eiji
....to drink and tell dirty jokes!

Truth be told, Eiji hadn't suggested the venue, because he hadn't been sure that the Akodo would accept it. That the Akodo had suggested it himself spoke well for the man's comradarie. He certainly seemed to be very friendly and honorable, unlike Eiji's cousin. What Eiji was going to do about her if he truly befriended the Akodo....

.....was worth thinking about later.

For now, Eiji ordered a round for his table, and awaited the man of the hour.

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 2:13 am
by Cearnach
Shimomura Shigehiko's arrival was a matter of some trepidation for the gm running him, because the pressure was now on for dirty jokes. Cripes, managing tone is going to be challenging! Can he do it? We're not sure!

But, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and bushy-faced, too, Shimomura Shigehiko strides through the door nonetheless.

"Konbanwa, Soshi-san!" he calls out on sighting his buddy.

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 5:36 am
by Soshi Eiji
Cearnach wrote:
Sun Jan 12, 2025 2:13 am
Shimomura Shigehiko's arrival was a matter of some trepidation for the gm running him, because the pressure was now on for dirty jokes. Cripes, managing tone is going to be challenging! Can he do it? We're not sure!

But, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and bushy-faced, too, Shimomura Shigehiko strides through the door nonetheless.

"Konbanwa, Soshi-san!" he calls out on sighting his buddy.
Eiji rose and bowed to the Lion.

"Konbanwa, Akodo-san. I hope after a very moving day, you are prepared to relax and share your stash of secret jokes so funny even Lady Matsu roars with laughter." he said.

He poured a cup of sake for the Lion.

"A libation to help. You do seem possessed of a mighty thirst."

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 4:05 pm
by Cearnach
"Hai, I am, Soshi-san. Thank you."

He downs the sake easily enough. "It always helps to get the machine lubricated. Are you drinking, Soshi-san?"

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 4:21 pm
by Soshi Eiji
Cearnach wrote:
Sun Jan 12, 2025 4:05 pm
"Hai, I am, Soshi-san. Thank you."

He downs the sake easily enough. "It always helps to get the machine lubricated. Are you drinking, Soshi-san?"
Eiji grinned at him and downed a cup.

"Cup for cup, joke for joke, that was the agreement, was it not Akodo-san? Speaking of which, I beleive you were boasting about a joke that made Lady Matsu laugh?" he said.

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 4:31 pm
by Cearnach
"I hope you are prepared, Soshi-san, for Lady Matsu prefers her jokes somewhat earthy."

He cleared his throat and tugged absently on his mustache.

"So there's a Military Hospital. A Chui visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one hohei and asks: "What's your problem, Hohei?" "Chronic gonorrhea, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Chui. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"

"Do-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" It is clear that Shigehiko, at least, finds this quite amusing.

Re: (D3, LE) A Scorpion and a Lion walk into a bar....

Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2025 5:18 pm
by Soshi Eiji
Cearnach wrote:
Sun Jan 12, 2025 4:31 pm
"I hope you are prepared, Soshi-san, for Lady Matsu prefers her jokes somewhat earthy."

He cleared his throat and tugged absently on his mustache.

"So there's a Military Hospital. A Chui visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one hohei and asks: "What's your problem, Hohei?" "Chronic gonorrhea, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Chui. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"

"Do-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" It is clear that Shigehiko, at least, finds this quite amusing.
It produced a short bark of laughter from the Scorpion as well, who'd been listening intently and appreciated the rule of three and the tiwst at the end.

"Very good, Akodo-san, very good indeed." he offered, refilling the man's sake cup.

"There was a festival celebrating a lord's daughter's wedding. As it was for her weddng, the lord forbade any shedding of samurai blood that day, and yet there were three famous duelists in attendance who wanted to showcase their skills. And so a compromise was reached. The servants caught three flies. They would release a fly before each duelist, and whomever could best demonstrate their skills against the fly would be considered the superior duelist."

"First was the Lion duelist. He thought of his ancestors, centered his chi and....

SHING!

The fly was neatly cut in half.

'Amazing!' cried the lord.

Next was the Dragon duelist. Unlike the Lion, he rested a hand on each of his blades, focused his chi and....

SHINGSHING!

The fly was neatly cut into four pieces.

'Outstanding!' cried the lord.

Finally there was the Crane duelist, who seemed completely serene in the face of such skilled opponents, she focused her chi and...

SHING!

The fly flew away.

'Ah, unfortunate Kakita-san, it would seem that Mirumoto-san is the victor this day, your fly yet lives.' said the lord.

The Crane bowed and said,

'The fly yet lives my lord, but he will sire no more children.'"